Slashing simplicity
Drips red from my joy-filled aquarium
The stench of equilibrium
How you annihilate my lazy-susan existence
Piercing note glass breaker:
I am, most solidly planted
Tree root
Moot point
My immaculately conceived reality
A princess-cut ice cube of glory
Bobbing in the one stiff drink away from
Nobody
Thursday, October 8, 2015
Quarter Life Crisis
Silence. Nothing. A stiff breeze of apathy hits me in the face, and yet I am still here; thinking.
A year out of school (sort of) and that "voice from the heavens" that I was so longing for to come and echo all the truths about my future and what the "right thing" to do is, offers me nothing but placid, eerie silence.
But, "NO!" occasionally my brain will cry, "I am an artist!" But how happily does my body tacitly fall into its peaceable Netflix kingdom.
I matter.
I matter.
Tantalizing words on a string dangle before my eyes. I grapple in the dark, gazing at the overwhelming possibility within the nameless void. Yet somehow, I take comfort in knowing this void is mine. Maybe I will reach out today. Perhaps I'll live a vacuum life. Don't you just want to swim in the sheer power of it?
A year out of school (sort of) and that "voice from the heavens" that I was so longing for to come and echo all the truths about my future and what the "right thing" to do is, offers me nothing but placid, eerie silence.
But, "NO!" occasionally my brain will cry, "I am an artist!" But how happily does my body tacitly fall into its peaceable Netflix kingdom.
I matter.
I matter.
Tantalizing words on a string dangle before my eyes. I grapple in the dark, gazing at the overwhelming possibility within the nameless void. Yet somehow, I take comfort in knowing this void is mine. Maybe I will reach out today. Perhaps I'll live a vacuum life. Don't you just want to swim in the sheer power of it?
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Social Media: The wrong answer to all our problems
Oh blogging. That bout of narcissism that we all so enjoy. A form of journalism, without the credibility, and generally about subjects which hardly anyone cares about. We sit at home in our cramped, dingy apartments and try and define our significance and share it with the world. We desperately stare at the number of "likes" on our facebook pages and hope that somehow one click of a mouse will make all of our loneliness and insecurities go away.
I find it so interesting the number of people in modern societies who pay thousands of dollars to go see shrinks once a week and yet they don't hardly say words in person to any of their 700 facebook friends. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why has our generation got chronic social anxiety?
I more than anything make these critiques and ask these questions of myself. For years I have struggled with authenticity and deeply personal relationships. I seek after value in all the wrong places (including social media). How many people will compliment me on my dress? How quickly did they respond to that text?...
We have entered into a space where somebody saying "hi" instead of "OMG I LOVE YOUR DRESS!!" has become lackluster, if not just downright insulting. Our society has become numb to the beauty and fulfillment of simple human interaction and replaced it with false reality. Why?
I personally chose to cut Netflix/Television out of my life a few weeks ago. Being a college student, I would often watch tv shows to relax or to just generally procrastinate between studying and all the other stresses of life which we are "forced" to endure in the university setting. Normal right? Every college student loves to gossip about the next episode of "such and such" show and how it's the greatest thing ever! However, what most of those college students don't realize is that the reason behind their obsessive TV watching is a lack of satisfaction with their own reality. I was beginning to model my life after the people who I was watching for hours every day. My own relationships, my own experiences, my own beauty, my own identity fell anticlimactically flat.
So here I am. Still completely flawed, still struggling with the insecurities that most women in my generation struggle with, but here to remind all of us that there is hope. There is hope for this social media generation. I could go on and on about all the problems, but what does that do besides depress everybody? Being critical without action is just a sign of fear and weakness. I'm tired of allowing my internal dialogue about a facebook post or a tv show to be the only honest conversation I have all day. Let's bring back the power of a simple smile, wave, and "hi." Let's honestly share our ideas with each other over a latte instead of tailoring a facebook post to fit the latest trend of what we're supposed to be talking about.
Although in choosing to write a blog you may consider me extremely hypocritical, but I have chosen it as an alternative expression to sitting idly by and becoming a false reality junky. Because I struggle sometimes with verbal expression, I would like this place to become the starting point for forum amongst people. I dare you to disagree with me! (Although hopefully it will come with a smiling face and some tea at Starbucks one of these days).
Let the authentic, personal conversations begin
...
I find it so interesting the number of people in modern societies who pay thousands of dollars to go see shrinks once a week and yet they don't hardly say words in person to any of their 700 facebook friends. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why has our generation got chronic social anxiety?
I more than anything make these critiques and ask these questions of myself. For years I have struggled with authenticity and deeply personal relationships. I seek after value in all the wrong places (including social media). How many people will compliment me on my dress? How quickly did they respond to that text?...
We have entered into a space where somebody saying "hi" instead of "OMG I LOVE YOUR DRESS!!" has become lackluster, if not just downright insulting. Our society has become numb to the beauty and fulfillment of simple human interaction and replaced it with false reality. Why?
I personally chose to cut Netflix/Television out of my life a few weeks ago. Being a college student, I would often watch tv shows to relax or to just generally procrastinate between studying and all the other stresses of life which we are "forced" to endure in the university setting. Normal right? Every college student loves to gossip about the next episode of "such and such" show and how it's the greatest thing ever! However, what most of those college students don't realize is that the reason behind their obsessive TV watching is a lack of satisfaction with their own reality. I was beginning to model my life after the people who I was watching for hours every day. My own relationships, my own experiences, my own beauty, my own identity fell anticlimactically flat.
So here I am. Still completely flawed, still struggling with the insecurities that most women in my generation struggle with, but here to remind all of us that there is hope. There is hope for this social media generation. I could go on and on about all the problems, but what does that do besides depress everybody? Being critical without action is just a sign of fear and weakness. I'm tired of allowing my internal dialogue about a facebook post or a tv show to be the only honest conversation I have all day. Let's bring back the power of a simple smile, wave, and "hi." Let's honestly share our ideas with each other over a latte instead of tailoring a facebook post to fit the latest trend of what we're supposed to be talking about.
Although in choosing to write a blog you may consider me extremely hypocritical, but I have chosen it as an alternative expression to sitting idly by and becoming a false reality junky. Because I struggle sometimes with verbal expression, I would like this place to become the starting point for forum amongst people. I dare you to disagree with me! (Although hopefully it will come with a smiling face and some tea at Starbucks one of these days).
Let the authentic, personal conversations begin
...
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